You cannot escape yourself. That is the first thing I have learned here. You carry your baggage wherever you go. You carry your hopes, your fears, your inadequacies, and all your contradictions on your back like a Mack truck no matter how far you go from the place you live. The normal sort of Introspection of which is necessary for life is almost impossible in the midst of clamoring horns and blinding lights in the streets of kalkuta. As such I believe all things internal become intensified out of the rage of wanting to be heard. Paradoxically, this city seems normally to leave one in such a state of exhaustion that this rage is never addressed and as such it seems to me that the pressure on the soul force all things of significance to the surface to beg to be addressed even though it knows that is impossible at the moment.
Thus it becomes violently important that in the brief moments of silence, that that which has been made apparent is tackled with urgency... is faced head on before the tide returns and the tension once again grows in the soul until the next free moment.
I must tackle my demons... Unfortunately this tension has made it apparent that I have many and i'm sure it will take a life time to reconcile them all...
Monday, July 11, 2005
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2 comments:
josh, you are such a wonderful person for doing this. everyone has their own battlefields inside themselves but, nothing you can't overcome. you've obviously proven that you've got a very strong backbone to just be able to pick up and travel across the world to help people in desperate need. you may have demons to fight but you're an angel to those people. stay strong!
ashley
xo
we are neither demons nor angels... we carry to much potentiality and not enough actuality for that... and life my friend is the overcomming of it.. not the part but the whole.. the struggle.. NOT the peace is the overcomming... or so i think...
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