crap.. i have eventually make a choice...

ok, so here it is... My heart says go to grad school... though i'm only a mid B average student... though i know that i will never be rich and never publish anything worth while as a mediore philosopher...... though i will have to struggle to pay the bills...

and then i am faced with another option. Go to teachers college and make decent money and have summers off and enough money to pursue philosophy/ writing/ travel on my own terms... but then to have a job teaching the same things at an introductory level that limits the amount of questioning that can be done and is strangled by procedure and guideline...

Law school, the previously stated option is not one. I am a decent thinker.. but not on the spot. I need time to think out my position and passion of the moment often blocks logical progress....

So the question is.. does one choose passion the limits but makes one happy...knowing that poverty is imminent... or does one choose a means to pay for things that are outside of the range of that means. should ones work be the dream or can ones work be the way to allowing for the dream. Is 8 weeks of intellectual freedom and monetary safety during that time worth taking a step down? Or is it a step up?

I have something like 2 months to decide...

well, i:m waiting for the bus and about to climb fuji.. lone. long story, but its good. i have been way to pathetic in the self motivation area as of late and i think this will hlp me clear my head. Ive been going through alot and doing alot of stupid things as of late... ill tell later... but needles to say i think fuji and i are simular beings.. i:ll let you decide what that means.