um ignore thaT

Ok so new rule....
no more drunk posting.
lol
ignore that last emo rant

So ive discovered that i'm not that great at being single.... or rather not that great at picking up at clubs or the like. The funny thing is that the old saying is true, when one is content happiness finds you and when one is looking it is like one is in a canoe with a hole, no paddle and a gator near by... There I was thinking that she was enjoying talking about existential fiction along side traveling tales.. that my lack of dancing skills was minuet in spite of the conversation.. only to find out later that she was just humoring me... Of course a bar is not exactly the place you would think intellectualism would fly, but in the very attempt i shows my awkwardness. I’m sure that if I HAD been in the position to be witty I could not have been.... And so the joke is rather that I’m like a limping cat in a dog show as of late...
Now, I’m not looking for pity here. Of course I know that the moment I’m ok with being single again i’ll have met someone or someone else will be back in my life or whatnot... I guess I’m just restless and miss having someone to wake up to without wondering if they will be there again... Ironically, it seems that once the opportunity comes for just that I seem to run and hide.... If there is a shrink out there reading this I’m sure I have a "commitment issues" comment coming... But truth is, I’m just waiting for someone worth dying for.... or maybe something worth living for.. Even for just a day...

Can't sleep

230 am and have to get up in a few hours.. but can't sleep. Some mornings I have to be up by 5 and other mornings i don't go to bed until 5... so you can probably guess my mental state as of late....

Still, some peace has arrived. I worry to much about the future. As long as i keep moving forward i have nothing to be ashamed of.... and so, lets leave that all to the side. but, on a side note... to those who have been following my wailing about the future and my ever changing ideas about what to do next... After I write the LSAT it looks like i might also try for the GMAT...lol. not sure where this is going to lead.. but we'll see.

So today was mostly a wasted day. Got out of my drug study this morning at around 7. After a study the loss of blood and sleep usually messes up my internal clock for a few days so basically i was no good until around supper time when i finally started doing a little studying.

As of now I have a hodge podge life. i'm taking 1 class at york (A fourth year philosophy of law class), a Japanese class coupled with a japanese cultural exchange, studying for LSATS, and doing 1-2 studies a month. Its an odd life but atleast i'm being semi-productive. On my off time i'm searching out programs on the internet trying to atleast narrow the options for the future.

um.. ok so this post is completly dull... but i'l have some more adventures soon... might head back to india this summer and then back pack china on my way back to japan... (since i didn't go over christmas after all) .. if that works out i'm sure i'll get myself into enough trouble (as always) to write about....
until then.. sorry for being lame.